What to Expect in Your First Counselling Session

Starting counselling can feel like a big step. You may wonder: “What will happen? Will I feel awkward? Will it really help?” My goal here is to demystify the first session so you can arrive feeling calmer, clearer and ready to engage.

Firstly, you’ll be welcomed into a confidential, non-judgmental space.

Then I will start with some general questions around contact details, your household (whether you have a partner or children). I will then ask you about any previous times you have engaged in counselling, and whether you have any medical diagnoses (especially in relation to mental health or neuro-diversity) or take any medication. I will check that you have read through and understood my counselling agreement (sent in advance by email) which covers aspects such as fees, cancellation policy and confidentiality.

The initial questions shouldn’t take more than 10 minutes as I’m keen to invite you to share what’s brought you here: what’s been happening, how it’s impacting you, what you’d like to change. I’ll ask some questions to explore your story, but this isn’t an interrogation — it’s a collaborative exploration. You can start at the beginning, or you can start with how you feel right now. There is no right way to tell your story.

By the end of the session we’ll identify one or two goals together, For example:

• reduce anxiety attacks

• improve communication in my relationship

• understand my patterns around addiction

• learn how to manage boundaries and conflict better

• overcome procrastination

  
  

We’ll also talk about how often we’ll meet, and how we’ll work together.

What if I’m anxious, blank, or cry?

All normal. First sessions can bring up strong feelings. You might feel anxious, and you might find it hard to talk — that’s fine. Tears, pauses, silence, or rambling are all useful information for the therapist. You don’t need to perform; be honest about how it feels in the room.

How long will therapy take?

It varies. Some people feel clearer after 6–12 sessions; others prefer longer-term work. We can periodically review our work together.

What if I’m not sure if we’re a good fit?

It is important to remember that the first session is a two-way street. You are interviewing the counsellor just as much as they are getting to know you. Therapists call this the therapeutic alliance. Research shows that the connection between client and counsellor is one of the biggest predictors of success. During the first session, ask yourself:

• Do I feel heard?

• Do I feel judged?

• Does the counsellor’s style feel safe to me?

If it doesn't feel like a match, that is okay! I will not take it personally and may be able to refer you to someone who might be a better fit.

How you might feel afterward

Post-session feelings vary wildly. You might feel:

• Relief: Like a weight has been lifted off your chest.

• Exhaustion: Emotional vulnerability burns a lot of energy.

• Stirred Up: Sometimes talking about things brings them to the surface. This may feel overwhelming.

Be gentle with yourself for the rest of the day. Drink water, take a walk, or just rest. You have taken a massive step toward your own well-being.

How can I prepare myself before the session?

• If possible, clear space in your schedule around the session to help prepare emotionally before hand and have space to process afterwards.

• Journaling can help gather your thoughts and help you identify 1–3 things you’d like to talk about or a simple goal (e.g., “I want to feel less anxious at work”).

• If you would like to explore your life history in detail, I recommend putting together a timeline that maps out significant events or periods in your life since birth.

In summary: Feeling nervous before your first session is completely normal. Think of the first session as a gentle conversation where we begin to map your situation together. You don’t have to have a perfect story — just bring yourself, and the rest will unfold.